


The Furry Menace

by DaisyChainz



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Author does not apologize for the title, Developing Relationship, Domestic, Exile, Garden pests, Gardens & Gardening, Gen, General Hux rides again, Humor, Hux puts his engineering skills to work, Marmot Kylux Fest, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rube Goldberg design, but not in a smutty way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29143626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaisyChainz/pseuds/DaisyChainz
Summary: It takes all of Hux's engineering skills to outsmart one rodent.And he definitely, absolutely, doesn't need Any help from a meddlesome force user.
Relationships: Armitage Hux & Kylo Ren
Comments: 15
Kudos: 22
Collections: Kylux Marmot Fest





	The Furry Menace

**Author's Note:**

> For Marmot Kylux Fest!! #marmotkylux

Kylo stopped digging for a moment, listening once his shovel sat idle. He thought he had heard something over the clanging he was making, moving all the Damnable rocks they found with every clod of dirt they overturned. 

He had heard something. Hux was shouting in the back garden, again. It was always the back garden. The one closest to the open field that was fenced off by their closest neighbor. Not that 'closest' meant much where they currently were. 

Kylo dropped his shovel onto the ground he had been attempting to break up, glad for the distraction. He used his sleeve to wipe his forehead, then changed his mind and reached behind to jerk the collar over his head. He buried his face in the fabric, then slung the whole thing over his shoulder and walked around the tiny house. 

Sure enough, Hux was standing at the fence, shaking his fist over it at the green fields beyond. The hairy, three-horned beasts that the fence contained, frunsch the locals called them, stood watching him. Their tails continued to switch at the buzzing insects around them, and they continued chewing the hard weeds that grew wild in their habitat. Eventually, they disregarded Hux and bent their heads back to the ground. They were accustomed to the display. 

Walking up to stand beside Hux, Kylo looked over the fence with him. He wasn't shouting at the frunsch, as anyone within earshot knew. Kylo's eye found the dark spot in the ground, a hole that led to tunnels and warrens and, eventually, another hole leading to a different section of field. Probably near a different neighbor's garden. 

Kylo knew, from three months intimate experience, that a fuzzy, round nuisance lived in that hole. The locals called that one a marmot, or a whistlepig. Hux called it a giant pest (and other, more colorful names), and had been endeavoring to keep it out of their garden. 

*** **

After Exegol, they had both been broken, physically and mentally. The entire galaxy thought they were both dead, they had lost everything, and they had nowhere to go. 

The force had led Kylo off of Exegol, and had allowed him to find Hux. They had bounced from one shit-hole planet to another for months, trying to lay low, trying to heal, trying to survive. Kylo was in as much danger of being murdered in his sleep by Hux, as he had been by thugs or street thieves. But Hux had stuck with him, mostly because he had few other choices. 

Then, they had stumbled upon Xanther. It wasn't on a map or a space lane. It was quiet and rural, and the majority of the galaxy's chaos, their chaos, had passed it by. No one 'thought they looked familiar', or were calling the authorities behind their backs. No one knew them and, more importantly, no one cared. 

Kylo couldn't find work as a pilot, since there were few ships on-planet. Instead he did odd jobs for one of the larger farms, as Hux made himself popular by being able to fix or rig the aging equipment everyone seemed to own. 

Eventually the farmer had rented them a building on the other side of his land; not exactly a house, but not the bunkhouse they shared with various other locals, either. Kylo hadn't been certain Hux would move with him there, and was half afraid Hux would move in and not allow him to join him. But at that point, Hux had accepted his presence, even to the point of sharing the household chores with him. They cooked and ate together at mealtime, mostly for the simple fact that Hux couldn't boil water. 

They made the building livable, and had managed to start a variety of gardens on the property around them. It was still early in the growing season, but they were already starting to add their own produce to their meals. 

Then Hux had discovered something was eating out of the back garden. It had taken him a few days to figure out what, but soon enough he spotted the culprit. Kylo had thought it was kind of cute, in a stubby-legged, waddling kind of way. But Hux had declared war. 

He had spoken to the farmer, who had recommended sprinkling the leaves of their plants with a spicy powder. That worked until it had rained, a day later. 

Next Hux tried putting bags of hair around the perimeter (they had been saving their hair clippings in case of larger garden-grazers, but hadn't seen any yet), so the scent of the humans would scare it off. 

The marmot had kicked loose dirt over the bags and climbed right over. 

Next, using some old lumber they had salvaged from inside their habitat, Hux had attempted to build a fence. It hadn't taken him long to realize that he needed to bury the posts, to prevent the creature from tunneling under (again). Even with Kylo helping, it had taken quite a few cycles to dig in the rocky ground deeply enough. And it had only been two days later that they had come outside just in time to see their unwelcome, portly neighbor sitting on top of one the posts. He had simply climbed up. Kylo had never seen Hux's face so red, not even when Kylo himself had been trying to make him angry. Kylo had simply been impressed that something so round could be so agile. 

Hux had wanted to burn it out of its hole, but the man that owned the field refused to let him. "You'll spook the frunsch, and they'll give purple milk. What good would that do me?" Plus, as he pointed out, the marmot would simply escape through one of his other entrances. 

He had, however, agreed to let Hux collect the smelly droppings of the frunsch, and plug the nearest hole with it. Apparently, they weren't supposed to like strong smells. And strong the frunsch droppings were. Kylo had been tempted to sleep outside that night, even after Hux had bathed and washed his clothes. 

The dung plug had lasted less than four cycles before Hux had gone out and discovered half-chewed vegetables again. The marmot apparently enjoyed not only eating the leaves off the plants, but chewing holes in the soft vegetables and sucking out the insides. 

Kylo had been trying to enjoy the last of his breakfast when Hux had stomped back in the house and thrown a handful of red, round fruits onto the table. Kylo peered into his bowl as one rolled and bounced, landing in his food. 

"Just look at them!" Hux had yelled, though not at him, which had been nice. Kylo fished the little fruit out and looked at it more closely. Sure enough, there were tooth marks on the soft red flesh, and a good portion of the pulp and seeds had been sucked out. He canted his head at Hux, curiously. 

"I'm done with being on the defense. It's time we take control of this situation." Hux began pacing in the tiny space that served as kitchen, dining room, lounge and bedroom. "If we can't stop it from coming in, can't protect our hard work from being eaten and destroyed, then we must go on the attack." 

Tossing the ruined fruit into the pile of its mates, Kylo turned back to his breakfast. "Are you going to kill it?" 

Hux made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl. "If only it were that easy. If I had my sniper rifle I could do it from the house. Even with a blaster I could lay in wait at close enough range." 

They both knew even if Hux had either, which he didn't, he couldn't go around blasting things; it would draw too much attention to them. Kylo smiled as he chewed, head dipped over his food. Hux was projecting very strongly as he thought of more fanciful, and violent ways, to end his feud with the pudgy little thief. 

*** **

In truth, Kylo thought as he watched Hux continue to shout over the fence, the marmot had been good for him. When they had first arrived he was sullen, withdrawn, hopeless; depressed even. 

He had no idea how he was going to survive, and he felt trapped with the last person he ever wanted to see again, Kylo himself. He had been unable to imagine making a life for himself outside of the Order. 

Realizing he could still be useful helped, as had slowly settling into an existence that didn't include constant fear of assassination. At least, once Kylo had convinced him he had no interest in killing him. Although, a few times Kylo had caught him thinking up plots against various other workers that had been rude to him, or disparaged his skills working the ground. But eventually he seemed to decide that the knowledge he could kill them, maim them, or cost them their jobs without being caught, was enough satisfaction. 

Still, Hux had lacked the fire that had always burned as brightly as his hair. Kylo had missed it. 

Once Hux had begun his fruitless battle with the marmot, a little of that had returned. Kylo witnessed it then as he listened to Hux's current, ongoing tirade at the back fence. 

"I'm going to catch you, then I'm going to skin you. I'll make stew from your meat and suck the marrow from your very bones!" He shook a fist over the fence. "Your hide will keep me warm all winter, you fat little tub of teeth!" 

Wisely choosing not to comment about the actual size of a marmot hide, Kylo leaned on the fence. He quietly enjoyed the color spread across Hux's cheeks, running down his throat and disappearing into the collar of his shirt. He was panting and his fist was still clenched. He spoke more quietly, more to himself than Kylo, "I'm going to get him, if it's the last thing I ever accomplish." He began to turn away from the fence, freezing momentarily as his eyes caught sight of Kylo's bare chest. He stumbled briefly, staring, then quickly spun and headed back to the garden. 

Following with a grin, Kylo looked over the garden with him. "What did he get, this time?" 

Hux waved a hand towards the far back end. Kylo walked over to look over the fence "He pulled over the entire plant to get to the buds, chewed them completely off. I had thought once the limbs got tall enough it would be safe from him." He sighed heavily. "Apparently I thought incorrectly." 

His tone was so sour Kylo had to struggle not to laugh out loud. He had learned quite early in The Great Struggle that Hux did not appreciate Kylo's levity at the situation. Instead he settled himself and asked, "did you have any more ideas about going on the offensive?" 

"Actually," Hux immediately calmed, so Kylo assumed he had a plan. "I think it would be easier to dispose of him if we could catch him, first." 

"A trap?" 

"Yes. He's actually quite cunning, so I don't think he would easily be lured in." He turned to glare at the empty hole in the ground and said very seriously, "he didn't get that round by being stupid." 

Kylo had to start coughing to hide his laughter. 

*** ** 

So Kylo kept digging and hacking at the front garden, slowly turning the rocky ground into a semi-suitable garden bed. All the while he kept one eye on Hux as he built and launched progressively more complex traps and lures. 

And he watched as the marmot evaded every single one. 

The trap either went ignored, or it somehow managed to spring it--without being caught. Twice, it managed to get the bait without even tripping the mechanism. 

While Hux grew more and more frustrated, at the same time Kylo saw more of his life spark burning. Shades of the General, in worn and dirty clothes and untamed hair, looked back at Kylo as Hux glanced up from his work, when he walked over to admire his latest contraption. 

*** ** 

It was . . . Complicated. 

Literally. 

The trap took Hux four cycles to set up completely, and calibrate. Kylo wasn't exactly certain what there was to calibrate considering there were no electronics, and they had to guess on the actual weight of the beast. It was difficult to tell what was carefully cultivated fat, and what was fuzz. 

And Kylo understood there really was no 'they'. Hux was never going to admit defeat from a common garden pest, and he was never going to accept help, or even admit he needed it, from Kylo Ren. 

So Kylo watched on his more and more common breaks (the garden bed was almost completely broken up anyway), as Hux toiled and muttered. Loud curses often met his ears as Hux struggled with the physical labor he was unaccustomed to, and whenever he smashed his finger in something. 

Finally the trap was completed. Hux got up before the sun to go out and finish the setup. Kylo watched him from his cot on the opposite side of their table, then got up and followed him out into the chilly air. 

He watched Hux move around the garden, positioning certain plants to be more or less convenient. He even went as far as pulling one completely out of the ground. Soon, he joined Kylo in his vantage. 

"Now we wait." Hux said, and they settled in. 

Just as the sun came up, Hux tapped Kylo excitedly on the arm. Kylo jolted up, not just taken off guard; it was the first time Hux had voluntarily touched him since, well, he couldn't actually remember. Certainly long before Exegol. 

Tearing his eyes away from Hux's hand still loosely on his arm, Kylo looked out to the field. Sure enough, a fuzzy round head was sticking out of the hole in the field. 

It was soon followed by a round, gray body, and the marmot was waddling down through the weeds, stopping to sniff every few feet. Kylo had seen it before, but he couldn't help but marvel at the way it seemed to rearrange its molecules to slip under the frunsch fencing.

Their solid garden fence soon blocked their view of him, but very soon they could start to see the tops of their plants rustling as he was nibbling on the leaves peeking through the fence. 

Hux's hand squeezed Kylo's arm and he couldn't help but stare at it for a moment. 

"He's taking the bait." Hux hissed, digging his short, ragged nails into the meat of Kylo's forearm. Kylo didn't care, but he looked up at Hux's words. 

Sure enough, sitting on top of one of the fence posts, was their resident pain-in-the-ass, munching on the tender tops of one of the taller plants. Arranged to tempt him specifically to that spot by Hux. Hux leaned, still gripping Kylo's arm. "It should be setting off the sensor, it just needs to move a little to the . . . Yes!" 

Hux leaped up, triumphant. He raced around to the back of the garden, watching intently as Kylo could hear the mechanism beginning to move. Kylo followed, standing next to Hux as they watched the rest unfold. 

The sensor had triggered a shovel suspended in a nearby tree branch. It had swung down, scooped up the marmot, and tossed it into a waiting box. The precariously propped lid slammed down over the front of the box, which triggered yet another chain reaction that was supposed to drop a latch across the lid and lock in the prisoner. 

They stood waiting and listening. "No, no," Hux muttered, fists starting to clench at his side. "It's going to be too slow!" 

Sure enough, the marmot had recovered his initial shock, and was probing at the covering. It bumped up and down a few times, and the intruder's nose appeared. 

Too late, the latch dropped, but bounced off the partially opened door. 

"No!" Shouted Hux. "Shit!" 

Caught up in the moment, Kylo threw a hand up, pushing the not-so-little critter back into the box with the force, and slamming the latch in place. He turned to Hux with a half-guilty, half-defiant expression. 

"What do you think you're doing?" Hux screeched at him. His glare was almost as deadly a Starkiller's beam of destructive, red light. 

Kylo shrugged, "figured the wily little bastard needed a hand." There was a long pause and he could hear Hux wondering loudly who Kylo was referring to. Kylo leaned in and said, "the creature, Hux." 

At first, Hux looked even angrier at him reading his thoughts. He hadn't wanted Kylo in his head, and he damn sure didn't need his help. He thought these things loudly. 

Kylo raised a hand and suggested helpfully, "I could always turn him loose, and let you try again." He raised his hand and watched the emotions flowing over Hux's face. 

Finally his expression settled; he looked at the trap and smiled, terrifying though it was. "What shall we do with it?" 

"Are you still planning on killing it?" Kylo felt an uncharacteristic reluctance towards the fuzzy little creature's demise. It had practically been a pet, with the amount of energy Hux had expended on it. 

Hux sighed deeply. "He was a worthy opponent. It seems disrespectful to just drown him." Kylo watched and waited, patient for a change. Hux's expression suddenly turned wry. He gave Kylo a look he had not seen in a long time. His breath caught in his chest. 

"That horrible little man that Kooro had the squabble with, when he first hired us. Do you know where his farm is?" 

Kylo nodded, curious. 

Hux smiled. "I'm certain he has a nice pasture. And a delicious, unprotected garden near his house." 

This time, Kylo did not stop the laugh that bubbled up from his chest. 

Welcome back, General. 

*** **


End file.
